Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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