Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
