i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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