this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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