then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
sex in a hospital.. check
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
