I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
