Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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