There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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