plz talk dirty to me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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