who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
