i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
