My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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