I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
A bitchslap is in order.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
