it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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