just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
