tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
