do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
