Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
