what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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