It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
