you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
