You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
