OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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