i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
