when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
