so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize