I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
