omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
