i just had sex bonerless
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
