I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
