Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
