just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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