When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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