return my video game
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize