I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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