you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
