Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
