office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
