I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
