We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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