giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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