Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
