Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
