im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
