She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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