Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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