did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
