Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
