me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You need Xanax blowdarts
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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