Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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