so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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