She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
