i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
